Dir: Ruben Fleischer. Starring; Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone. Color. R. 99 minutes.
There is no denying our second trip to “Zombieland” is a lot of fun. Hijinks, random pop culture references and a collection of really good actors in what should be a SyFy channel movie certainly entertain. It is a valiant effort, but it is nowhere near as good as the original. “Zombieland: Double Tap” feels very much like “Ghostbusters II” way back in the late 80’s. Yes everything is still enjoyable, but it is hard not to walk out of the theater and say the greatest phrase in criticism history; ‘Meh’.
We start off with the gang of four, Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin still fighting the dead as they break into the White House to the theme of “Master of Puppets” by Mettallica. Everything seems good in post-apocalypse land. Columbus and Wichita are on the verge of making it official with marriage while Tallahassee has taken on the father role to Little Rock. If you didn’t see the first film, those are the names of the four main characters because they use their hometown’s as titles.
Columbus stumbles nerd wise, on brand, with the engagement proposal and Wichita freaks out. She heads back on the road with Little Rock. The hopeless romantic and f-ed up wanna be dad who means well settle in as the duo they were originally. During a run for candles, because Zombieland smells awful, Columbus runs into Madison (Zoey Deutch), a hottie with big tits and blonde hair and… thats about it. Columbus sleeps with her. Can’t blame the guy, but also a bad call because his true love Witchita is coming back into his life.
Turns out after they left the White House Little Rock fell in love with a namaste-all-day hippie and took off towards some strange ‘safe haven’ community. Never a good choice in a zombie apocalypse. The band gets back together, reluctantly, to save Little Rock from a life of attending a cheap version of Burning Man the rest of her life. Oh, I also forgot, the zombies are evolving. They are becoming intelligent and will kill you faster, as they do.
Multiple moments in “Zombieland: Double Tap” are absolute dimes. The ‘zombie kill of the year’, which takes place in Italy, is hilarious. Covering up the eyes of an Abraham Lincoln painting with post-it notes before you get it on, awesome. But my goodness does this movie have an orgasmic level of pop culture references. Things like taking a shot at Uber hold no weight. How the hell would these characters know what Uber is?
Then we get to the final act which this film Game of Thrones the shit out of things (yep, pop culture reference back to you Zombieland). A character you thought was dead is alive. The ultimate battle against zombies that are now elite is paint by numbers. It is ‘you thought this was good?’ filmmaking 101.
Bottom line, you will have more fun than hatred when seeing “Zombieland: Double Tap”. Several moments will make you laugh and even more will be eye rolling bad. However, if you don’t enjoy a few minutes of Woody Harrelson man-loving on Elvis Presley then you are not a true American.
Suck Factor: 4out of 7 (7 means your movie really SUCKS!)
Written by Byrd
The SUCK FACTOR, how it works. We have flipped the rating system upside down. If a film is classic, it gets a 0. Meaning that movie has 0 SUCKS. If a film is complete trash you must avoid at all costs, it gets a 7, meaning this movie really SUCKS!