Director; James Gunn. Starring; Idris Elba, Margot Robbie, John Cena. Rated R. Color. 132 Minutes.
I ask this question with 100 percent authenticity. Are humans going beyond just being ignorant or have we as a species instead entered the realm of down right idiotic? Sure feels like the later while watching “The Suicide Squad”. This movie is not laughing with you humor, it is laughing AT YOU stuff. The experience of this film can best be related to using a laser pointer to entertain a cat, and the viewer is the cat. And they got actors like Idris Elba and Viola Davis to sign on! Does someone need to show director James Gunn “Guardians of the Galaxy” again to remind him what GOOD silly comic book movie making looks like? Other than Margot Robbie showing up as Harley Quinn so that slutty college chicks have another version of a halloween costume, what is the purpose of this movie!?!? This isn’t even Comic-Con level nerdiness. The nerds have intelligence. This is blatant nonsense.
No point in breaking down semblances of plot points. All you need to know is a group composed of a trousers wearing shark, a chick with the ability to control rats with a BTS concert style globe, a dude in an outfit that looks like the game ‘Twister’ who has to jizz dots of skittles on everyone twice a day, and a crazy pale lady with a stick are our only hope against a giant fake as hell looking star fish monster. I am not making this up. These things actually happen on screen. I have serious envy for Pete Davidson getting killed off in the first five minutes so he didn’t have to endure the rest of this two hours of torture.
Geez, I almost forgot to mention the blatant racism towards the Central American community. Or the slow motion bullet sequence with a smaller bullet being able to go through a larger piece of ammunition in order to hit its intended target. The best line to sum up this movie comes from John Cena as the character Peacemaker. “IF I HAD TO EAT A BEACH FULL OF DICKS HERE I SURE WOULD!” Could not agree more. I’m choosing the beach full of dicks over ever watching this film again Mr. Cena.
Suck Factor: 7 out of 7 (7 Means Your Movie Really SUCKS!)
The SUCK FACTOR, how it works. We have flipped the script on the ratings system. If you make a classic, such as “The Godfather”, your film receives 0 SUCKS! If you make total garbage, say basically any Michael Bay movie, you receive a total of 7 SUCKS!