From time to time we all need to watch a movie. Then you have those films that you love, but you don’t want to admit to anyone you liked. Similar to music or art, a guilty pleasure is respectable when you own it. These are my Top 10 Guilty Pleasure movies. I am not claiming they are good, but if any of these movies are on television I am not going to change the channel.
10. “Man of Steel” (2013):
“Superman” is admittedly my favorite when it comes to superheroes. The 1978 original Starring Christopher Reeves is the quintessential red-caped classic. The latest iterations of the oldest comic book phenom on the big screen, not so much. Still, the 2013 Zack Snyder vehicle “Man of Steel” is so awful that it is a blast with every viewing. Opening with a ridiculous 20 minute “Avatar” themed inspired battle on Krypton that nobody asked for with Russell Crow flying on space dragons, this iteration of the strongest hero ever is off to the races before even presenting its main character. Henry Cavill is not a bad Superman, but he does not embody the cookie cutter hero which is the point of the legend in the first place. The serious tone Snyder brings to the table is the wrong choice for a character all about hope. However, there is fun beneath it all. When Superman gets into it with General Zod (Michael Shannon) and Zod screams one of the best lines ever makes this a must see; “THERE ARE TWO OUTCOMES SUPERMAN! EITHER YOU DIE OR I DIE!” So glad he cleared that up.
9. “She’s All That” (1999):
No defense here, but “She’s All That” holds a special place in my teenage heart. The Freddie Prinze Jr. rom-com is centered around d-bags. The most popular kid in a rich high school bets with his fellow a-hole best friend Paul Walker (R.I.P) that he can turn any girl in the school into Prom Queen. Walker chooses the nerdiest girl at the school in Rachel Leigh Cook. Turns out she is a hottie behind the glasses and painting attire. “She’s All That” is no doubt superficial, but there is a level of getting over yourself that a teen can learn from. When the young lady comes down the steps to the Six Pence None the Richer song “Kiss Me” stands as a great 90’s jam.
8. “The Care Bears Movie” (1985):
Kids get to have guilty pleasures too, and there is none better than a bunch of animals running around with a rainbow and heart on their chest. The popular kids program was started in 1985 and went through multiple iterations until 2006. The pinnacle was the 1985 feature film starring voice talent such as Mickey Rooney. An evil wizard has his sights on covering the earth in concrete. Fortunately, “The Care Bears” come down from the clouds and rescue two kids, and the rest of humanity, from darkness. Millions of stuffed toys were sold and the parents had to fight for them in stores. Still, “The Care Bears” were the ultimate children’s show. “Paw Patrol” would not exist without the cheerful group of rainbow riding bears.
7. “Judge Dredd” (1995):
I must confess, when Sylvestor Stallone yells “I AM THE LAW!” it’s hard not to crack a smile.So many ridiculous things happen in 1995’s “Judge Dredd” in the first ten minutes alone that it is almost impossible to keep up. A dystopian future has never looked so batshit crazy, and I’m talking about the movie not the content. Fans of the comics loved the 2012 remake starring Karl Urban. For me, nothing beats Stallone and his signature catch phrase. Clones, angry robots, floating motorcycles, and cannibals are simply the tip of the iceberg in this batshit crazy sci-fi shoot em’ up.
6. “Mortal Kombat” (1995):
Movies based on video games suck almost as much as video games based on movies. Two different forms of entertainment. The original “Mortal Kombat“is no different, but it is still awesome. When it comes to intelligence, stay 50 feet away from this movie due to a court mandated restraint order. Unfortunately, you can’t stay away from this gem of mind candy. As soon as you hear Scorpion yell “GET OVER HERE!” followed by the main soundtrack theme you will be hooked, pun intended.
5. “30 Days of Night” (2007):
There is an incalculable number of vampire movies. Other than a classic or two, the story is almost always by the numbers. “30 Days of Night” is no different. This vehicle lead by Josh Harnett has a preposterous premise. In Alaska a group of vampires show up in a small town during the “30 Days” in which the sun does not rise. Yes, from the moment “30 Days” begins the concept is ridiculous. Does this Vamp crew just sleep until they can catch a north area town? If so, nobody has heard of them? Still, the close quarters nature makes “30 Days” a fun and bloody ride against the bloodsuckers.
4. “Army of Darkness” (1992):
Sam Raimi’s “Evil Dead” trilogy is all time classic horror-comedy moviemaking. While the second installment is most often regarded as the best, “Army of Darkness” is a camp festival and great way to close out a trilogy. Bruce Campbell finishes off his big screen run as Ash, a dipshit convenience store clerk who stumbles upon the book of the dead during a trip with friends in a cabin in the woods. “Darkness” picks up when he has a chainsaw hand and transported to medieval times. The concept gets even more ridiculous from there. My favorite line is Campbell explaining what a shotgun is; “THIS IS MY BOOM STICK!… SHOP SMART. SHOP ‘S’ MART.”
3. “The Shadow” (1994):
One of the most underrated comic book adventures, “The Shadow” is a classic throwback to 40’s filmmaking. Admittedly a poor man’s version of Batman, Alec Baldwin’s take on the titular hero is both parts awesome and ridiculous at the same time. A guy goes from a dictator in Asia to a New York gumshoe with a crew of sidekicks and the ability to make you think that he isn’t there. What a journey. But the biggest portion is The Shadow’s catch phrase to his crew; “The sun is shining, but the ice is slippery.”
2. “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” (1997):
The only genuine classic on this list in terms of overall filmmaking basis, Mike Myer’s comedy “Austin Powers” is fun with each re-watch. A farce based on the James Bond series, “Powers” is all about having a good time baby. Add in Myer’s duel take as the villainous Dr.Evil and it is time to face off in hilarity. When Powers is awoken in the modern day after being frozen in time his swinger mentality is out of place, leading to a world of laughs.
1. “Point Break” (1991):
What in the world could possibly be more fun than the ultimate ride. The Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze surfboard extravaganza that is “Point Break” is an ass-kicker. An up and coming young detective named Johnny Utah is tasked with chasing down a group that is robbing banks in L.A. while wearing masks of former presidents. Turns out they are surfers as well as extreme sports junkies led by Swayze’s character Bodhi, a no-nonsense mastermind. Keanu goes down a spiral of insanity that is a blast for both the stars as well as the audience. Complete with a stunt man literally jumping out of a plane without a parachute, “Point Break” is one hell of a trip from beginning to end.