Dir: Dave Wilson. Starring: Vin Diesel, Eiza Gonzalez, Guy Pearce. PG-13. Color. 109 min.
I have to give a tip of my hat to director David Wilson’s latest outing “Bloodshot”. Thank god Corona happened and it was not allowed to be shown in theaters. The newest Vin Diesel vehicle is a complete train wreck from start to finish, and even his brooding muscle man persona cannot save what is going on. At least he gave it his best ‘shot’.
Diesel plays Ray Garrison, a soldier hot off a risky combat mission in Mombasa. He unwinds by visiting with his beautiful wife Gina (Talulah Riley) in Italy. The honeymoon is unfortunately short lived as the two are kidnapped by Martin Axe and his cronies. An aimless villain that pretty much has no purpose, Axe and his crew enjoy themselves as they dance around killing the Garrison’s with a cow gun ala “No Country For Old Men” Javier Bardem style.
When all else fails, thankfully Guy Pearce shows up out of nowhere as Doctor Emil Harting. Garrison’s body was donated by the military for research and his is the first to fully adapt successfully to the nanotech research that has taken years to develop. The ‘nanites’, which look like miniature mosquitos, instantly cure any injury during combat. They also track Bloodshot. A nice little fail safe system and one of the few logical things in this movie.
From there Bloodshot is sent off to kill people because, well your guess is as good as mine. Fortunately he is able to find himself a hottie in KT (Eiza Gonzalez), a disgruntled employee of the Harting organization. This movie is all over the place. KT helps Bloodshot to realize he is still human and can have a life beyond death. Sorry, near death.
And… Then another soldier with replacement legs and a spider-man like mechanical suit shows up to defeat Bloodshot. I would delve into that but it would be better for you to experience it.
“Bloodshot” is one of those rare movies that is not just bad but rather horrible from top to bottom. The cinematography is J.J. Abrams lens flares on steroids. Director of Photography Jacques Jouffret needs to get in there, but also chill the hell out. You are making a Vin Diesel movie sir! The editing by Jim May is all over the place. It is like May cannot decide whether or not to go full ‘Matrix’ bullet-time tech or hard-core ‘Die Hard’ fight scenes. I cannot blame either of them as I was not on set and perhaps the producers and stars were a-holes (my guess is yes). But step up your movie making game people.
One would be hard pressed to discover a line in film history so bad that it explains the movie in a few words. “Bloodshot” has the cure for you. During a tense scene a question is asked by Vin Diesel. It is something we all ask and simple. “WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!?” Couldn’t argue with you there.
Suck Factor: 6out of 7 (7 means your movie really SUCKS!)
Written by Byrd
The SUCK FACTOR, how it works. We have flipped the rating system upside down. If a film is classic, it gets a 0. Meaning that movie has 0 SUCKS. If a film is complete trash you must avoid at all costs, it gets a 7, meaning this movie really SUCKS!
Greg Squared Films 